tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19310448570307770092024-03-05T04:08:30.068-05:00Country DawnSix acres, five chickens, four kids, three wishes, too many hopes and one chance to mess it all up...Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.comBlogger235125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-56626244518455016662012-04-01T21:15:00.001-04:002012-04-01T21:15:40.922-04:00ForgettingI wanted to forget today.<br />
I wanted to hide. <br />
I woke up this morning from a dream that I'd found out I was pregnant.<br />
April Fool's Day.<br />
The day we lost William.<br />
I hate this day.<br />
I dread the jokes, the tricks, the "gotchas."<br />
I've had enough "gotcha" to last me several lifetimes.<br />
But inevitably, this day cracks me open wide.<br />
My veneer is always as thin as an eggshell. <br />
There is always, always a gaping, yawning maw at my back.<br />
All I need to do is turn and look into the abyss. It is there, waiting.<br />
There are days I want to freefall. But I don't.<br />
Today, the veil between worlds is thin. Today, you could see right through my shell, if you look closely enough.<br />
But I still thought I could escape.<br />
We went to the movies to see "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1430615/">Big Miracle</a>."
It's a story with a guaranteed happy ending. It's based on a true
story, so I knew it would be heart-warming and leave me feeling warm and
fuzzy.<br />
And then the baby whale dies.<br />
That's right.<br />
All these people have been moving heaven and earth to help this little
family of whales, doing everything they possibly can to keep them alive
and set them free. <br />Mama and Papa whale have been helping the sick
baby surface, and you're sure, if they just get out to open water, all
will be well...<br />
And then the baby dies.<br />
I forgot.<br />
I forgot. <br />
This is real life, not Hollywood.<br />
Babies die. <br />
And as I sat there in disbelief while the woman from Greenpeace sobbed over the baby's death,<i> "We could have done more! He's going to surface! He can't be dead!"</i> my own heart echoed her pain.<br />
And then came the words, "There's nothing anyone could have done... he's gone."<br />
Prayers. Grief.<br />
And a mother and father who followed the path to open water.<br />
Because life goes on, whether you want it to or not.<br />
I wanted to forget.<br />
But instead I turned and looked into the abyss, and it looked back at me.<br />
The veil fell away. <br />
I can't forget. Not today. <br />
Cracked open, raw, exposed.<br />
Free. Loved.<br />
Beautiful. It's all so beautiful.<br />
I love you, William.Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-14367721591035429012011-09-11T12:16:00.000-04:002011-09-11T22:19:17.748-04:00Missing Sweet William<b>Missing sweet William today...</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>Today and every day. </b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b><a href="http://www.sherileigh.com/index_files/08%20Sweet%20William.m4a">Sweet William</a></b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
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<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkBBqU57Dl4NdA01GRDZjzHkEkM1-ZzDzJlop4Hw_WeLj0AsxkpvHjmZdPqhgP-Z3afWjaTBXAnUMl8IXDcEKp2Vj2s04Ct8_1EzvU4p-GVxKxPc16kcIecCLVErlaVpCHiA2YzLFSqe0/s1600/William+George+2_touchedup.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkBBqU57Dl4NdA01GRDZjzHkEkM1-ZzDzJlop4Hw_WeLj0AsxkpvHjmZdPqhgP-Z3afWjaTBXAnUMl8IXDcEKp2Vj2s04Ct8_1EzvU4p-GVxKxPc16kcIecCLVErlaVpCHiA2YzLFSqe0/s320/William+George+2_touchedup.JPG" width="217" /></a></b></div>
<b><br /></b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>Written and sung by <a href="http://www.myspace.com/lowtidedrifters">The Low Tide Drifters</a>. Just for my William. Thank you Kate Downing and Nate Moore for remembering him in song.</b><br />
<br />Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-67771487852342259342009-04-02T11:35:00.001-04:002009-04-02T11:37:39.557-04:00Stillbirth of William George<span style="font-weight: bold;">Had a midwife appt yesterday... and she couldn't find the heartbeat. I thought he'd felt less active, but I've been contracting a lot, prodromal labor, in pain, exhausted and distracted and it was hard to tell.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The hospital visit confirmed what I just somehow knew and had dreaded... our baby was gone. The ironic news was I was 6-7 cm and 85% effaced... those ctx really had done something.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">He was born at 10:14 pm on April Fool's Day...some joke... a tiny 5lb 4oz - tiny like his sister was. Tiny and perfect. There was no sign of... anything. No knot in the cord, placenta was normal, he was normal, no infection, no fever, nothing in the bloodwork. No explanation.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">At first I couldn't believe the universe would do this. My dad died in February... and we named him after both grandpas. We were going to surprise my mom with his name. And now this? Really? Could anything be more cruel?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The birth was thankfully fast - they gave me a tiny bit of pit, but I pushed him out pretty quickly. Although I've never had a more painful birth, in more ways than one. It was like my body didn't want to do it... it was all me. I had to make the conscious choice to birth him, and part of me just wanted to hold on...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The kids were there... not for the birth, we had a friend in the waiting room with them, but after... and we did get to hold him... the staff took pictures, and were very kind. Things are so different now than back in the days when they whisked the baby away and you never saw them...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The only thing I keep thinking is, "Why?" And there's just no answer and probably never will be.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I feel like I've stepped across some threshold into another world. The dark side of motherhood. We carry so much, when we carry life. We're carrying death with us all the time as well. I knew it on an intellectual level... every bit of anxiety or worry, everything I did or didn't do, questioning... but I had no idea what that felt like, not really... not until I stepped through this door and birthed my baby still.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">And why do people say inevitably say all the </span><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1238686536_0">wrong things</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">? And why don't I care? I always winced, as an outsider, when someone said the "</span><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1238686536_1">wrong thing</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">" to someone who was grieving... as the one grieving, I can only look from outside myself at them and know they're trying to comfort themselves... they can't touch this pain... they try so hard, they want to understand, but the unimaginable is, truly... And when we're outside of it, we can sympathize, but I think we try not to picture it. I know I did. A good defense... there but by the grace of god go I... so sorry for your loss (and thank god it isn't me...)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">And then it is you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Last night, I didn't think anyone could possibly understand. But in the light of day, I know that even this pain has been born and survived by women, all of us connected. I'm truly humbled. As broken and destroyed as I feel, there is a small part of me buoyed knowing there are women who have been here, too.</span>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-84801430602939497302009-02-12T10:57:00.005-05:002009-02-12T11:02:18.212-05:00Passed On<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">They took the cpap mask off him this morning, and he was gone within the hour.<br />
<br />
I never did make it to the hospital. I was going to go today, since the littles were back in school and while I'm still sick (actually, getting worse grr) oh well, I was going anyway after hubbie left for work this morning. But my mom called to tell me he'd passed. And I had to call the older kids, who didn't make it out yesterday, but were going to go today.<br />
<br />
Really am glad it didn't linger on, for my mother's sake. She made a hard, hard decision. I'm really at peace with it, although my only regret, for his sake, was that he didn't get to see his last grandchild born. :(</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Me and my dad in 1978 (yes, I know - gotta love the plaid 70's pants and glasses! lol)<br />
</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/LittleDawnDad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/LittleDawnDad.jpg" width="363" /></a></div><b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-64546700444482240902009-02-11T11:31:00.002-05:002009-02-11T11:32:44.280-05:00DNR Orders<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>My dad fell on Christmas morning on the ice and broke his foot. He's in his early 60's, diabetic, has PAD (peripheral artery disease), has had high blood pressure since he was in his 20's, is 80 lbs overweight, and has undergone both a corotid artery surgery and a quadruple bypass in the past ten years...<br />
<br />
So, they did a surgery on his foot, put a plate in. And a day after he was home, he had what they thought was a stroke or a blood clot. This was three days ago. Things looked okay at first - he couldn't talk and had a hard time swallowing (they gave him one of those "suckie" things like dentists use for the saliva...) but he was lucid and alert, and could respond, nod or shake his head, when asked questions.<br />
<br />
Now... however...<br />
<br />
The doctor finally defined this incident as a "large stroke." (My mom said "massive" - I think it makes her feel better to say "massive" - but my sister and niece heard "large.") They want to put him on a breathing machine and a feeding tube now. But when he was lucid (two days ago) he said no machines, no tubes. (He's always said no machines, no tubes...)<br />
<br />
But he's not lucid anymore - can't nod or blink anymore. He's deteriorating quickly. His lungs are full of fluid because he can't swallow. The usual dose of the meds to clear them - 20 units - they doubled to 40. It didn't work. They doubled that to 80 units. It didn't work. Which led my niece (an ICU nurse) to believe his kidneys weren't functioning even though the blood levels showed they were. Now they're talking about dialysis. They want to put in a tube to feed him (directly into the stomach, instead of through the nose, which they can only do for a week.) My sister, her husband and my niece all sat down with Mom and the ICU doc (I'm still sick, and so are the kids, so I can't go) and talked about all this, after which my mom signed a DNR and said no tubes.<br />
<br />
My nephew is mad - he says we should put in all the tubes and let him heal and get better. But the docs are saying, because of his other conditions (diabetes, triglycerides, high blood pressure, previous surgeries, circulation issues) the meds they'd normally prescribe wouldn't work, and they have to go other routes. They say they don't know how much functionality he will be able to regain even if we do put him on the machines.<br />
<br />
But the thing I keep coming back to is the not talking. He can't communicate. The only thing he lives for is communication, frankly, and I think he knew, when he couldn't talk, couldn't swallow, that his "life" was basically over. Honestly, I think he knew it last week when we talked before his foot surgery and he told me he wanted to hold out to see this baby. He mentioned that his heart doc had told him two months ago, she wanted to do some sort of surgery, going in through the groin, because things weren't "circulating properly." He refused, he told me, because he was afraid he'd die during the surgery, and he wanted to see the baby first. I think he knew he was going to go, one way or another, before then, and didn't want it to happen. His one regret maybe.<br />
<br />
But I think he's clear, now that this has happened, or at least he was, when he could make that call, that he doesn't want to stick around anymore. That it's time.<br />
<br />
He's right handed. His whole right side is shot. He can't write well with his right hand anyway (he's dyslexic and never learned to read or write past a 4th-5th grade level), let alone trying to re-learn with his left. He can't read to begin with, he's nearly functionally illiterate, even with his one good eye. He can't swallow, so he can't eat. (The man lives to eat!) He can't talk - and I mean, seriously, who could ever shut him up before? That's all he does is talk and argue and debate! <img alt="" border="0" class="inlineimg" src="http://forum.literotica.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" title="Wink" /> And the only way he could use his beloved computer before the stroke was doing it voice-activated - because of his dyslexia and learning disablities. Now that he can't talk, he couldn't use it at all.<br />
<br />
It seems to me that anything that might motivate him to keep going is pretty much gone, and he knows it. And he's just going to be really pissed off a few months down the road if we DO put him on machines against his wishes and he DOES recover some capacity and awareness. Like we want my mom having to take care of an incapacitated, pissed-off dad who can't communicate? What good does that do anyone? Ugh.<br />
<br />
I told my mom I was fine with honoring his wishes. And that no one could make another call (i.e. putting him on machines) except her, but if she did, I would understand that, too. She said she didn't want to be alone - and I said it wasn't about being alone, because my sister and her husband would take her in in a heartbeat - it was about not having a partner, really about not having DAD. That was apparently the perfectly right or wrong thing to say, I guess, depending on your perspective, because then she had to go cry... which she said she hadn't really done yet. So I let her go do that.<br />
<br />
I imagine his last days will be this week or next, if she doesn't make another decision than the one she's already made. </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b> </b> </div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-46944459648365693752009-01-13T19:32:00.001-05:002009-02-04T12:39:26.886-05:00The Tooth Fairy's Ripping Me Off<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>"Mom, I think I swallowed my tooth." So says my six year old son.<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>"Why do you think that?"<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>"One's coming in way back here, and I don't remember one falling out."<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Ah. So I had to explain that, as we grow and our mouths get bigger, we grow molars, or "big teeth" back there to fill the space.<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Dmitri was relieved to hear he hadn't swallowed a tooth and missed out on a chance to collect a dollar from the tooth fairy. Until he connected more of the dots...<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>"Hey!" He pouted. "I get a tooth, but I don't lose one? The tooth fairy's ripping me off!"<br /><br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I didn't have the heart to tell him how the IRS works... :)</b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-57573665843075671042008-12-15T20:52:00.000-05:002008-12-15T20:54:37.786-05:00Christmas Card<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>For those efriends who I don't have addresses for: </b></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/xmascard2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/xmascard2.jpg" width="420" /></a></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-18825273760053304302008-11-28T17:08:00.000-05:002008-11-28T17:59:02.031-05:00Visit to Santa<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>The local hardware store had a visit from Santa, so I took the littles to see him. I figured it would be less crowded than the mall. Hm. Maybe... not!</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_c.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>The kids had fun coloring, though.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_d.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And getting their faces painted. </span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_i.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_g.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And writing letters to Santa (and coloring the back!) while they waited.</span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_a.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Until they finally got to see the "big guy."</span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_l.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/santa_2008_n.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I can't believe how big these two are getting!</span></b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Not so little anymore! *sniff*</span></b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-89380428080158841482008-11-21T21:16:00.000-05:002008-11-28T17:58:23.422-05:00Bugmania!<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><b>The museum had a cool insect display, so we decided to go.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_l.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"></div><strong></strong><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong>Giant bugs!</strong></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_g.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong>And what was even cooler? </strong></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_e.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong>They moved! </strong></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_m.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_n.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong>The kids also got to go to a bug class. And see lots of different insects in cases. </strong><strong></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_i.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Some weren't in cases - I don't want to talk about the wolf spider that bit the handler and got away for a minute! Eek!</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_j.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_j.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong>They made crafts too. </strong></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><strong></strong> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_q.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_q.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_r.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_r.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Totally fun!</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" lh="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/insect_museum_h.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"> </div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-54981775275797616262008-11-17T16:20:00.001-05:002008-11-17T19:03:58.308-05:00Ambiguous News<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/baby_11_17_08_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/baby_11_17_08_.jpg" border="0" height="331" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><b>Finally, a good profile picture of the little guy!</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><b>Love how his little hand is curled up by his face...<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>Today was the "re-check" ultrasound, because he was in a funky position last time, and just a little too small for them to see everything they wanted, like the fingers, the toes, the four chambers of the heart, the spine...<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>The good news is, they found everything they needed this time, he's still a boy :D - and I got video. The bad news is, either the software or the USB cord isn't working to transfer it to the computer, so <i>I</i> can watch it, but <i>you</i> can't! Wahhh!<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>The ambiguous news... our little guy has a very teeny tiny slight curve in his spine. There's no evidence of spina bifida, or a neural tube defect or anything like that. His mobility isn't effected, and there are no other defects that they can find in the heart, brain, etc.<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>Of course, all the literature I can find on the Internet conflicts, and varies from: "</b><span style="font-weight: bold;">We conclude that abnormal spinal curvature in the fetus is a significant finding, whether mild or severe" to "</span><b>Spinal curves are relatively common in the general population. Most curvatures are mild to moderate, while only a small percentage severe enough to warrant treatment."<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>So reassuring.<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>Not.<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>I don't know if the OB is going to want follow-up ultrasounds but my guess is that he is. *sigh* What I hate is not knowing for sure. And I'm having flashbacks of my pregnancy with Blake, where they found his kidney "slightly enlarged" at sixteen weeks. The cascade of interventions that followed, including an ultrasound every four weeks after that, an amniocentesis at 38 weeks to check lung maturity, and an induction soon after... ugh. Just the thought of it makes me want to cry.<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>And of course, there was all the awful, painful testing afterward, to find out that nothing was wrong with him at all... </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>This is what happens, I guess, when you open Pandora's box.<br /><br />The doc who came in said, "I can't guarantee anything, but this seems very slight, and there are no other indicators. My guess is that some day he'll get an x-ray and say, 'Hey, mom, did you know I have a slight curve in my spine?'" </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>We can hope, I suppose, but in the mean time, I'm hormonal...and except for that perfectly rounded string of pearls <i>without</i> a little dip in the middle, I don't know the difference between what's normal and isn't - and when you mention "spine" and "abnormality" in the same sentence, a pregnant woman has a tendency to panic...<br /><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>So I'm trying not to look at this as bad news, but rather... ambiguous news. We don't really know. Could be something. Could be nothing. </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>Unfortunately, you can't shut Pandora's box. Once it's open, you just have to live with it.</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b>Sometimes I think denial isn't such a bad thing after all. </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-65028521247554774462008-11-06T16:43:00.000-05:002008-11-06T16:48:28.023-05:00Let's Talk About Sex<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>The sex of our baby is......<br />
<br />
(You did realize I was talking about that kind of sex, right? <img alt="" border="0" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" title="Wink" /> )<br />
<br />
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</b></div><div align="center" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: blue;">A BOY!</span></b></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/baby_11_6_08_boy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/baby_11_6_08_boy1.jpg" width="420" /></a> </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><b> <a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/baby_11_6_08_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/baby_11_6_08_3.jpg" width="420" /></a></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
I thought for sure we were having a girl. My pattern so far has been girl, boy, girl, boy... so I was in line for a girl. And we both wanted a boy, so that, of course, meant for sure it would be a girl...<br />
<br />
But it's <span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: blue;">A BOY!</span></span></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
Now to go break Zoe's heart and tell her it's not a sister... <img alt="" border="0" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" title="Embarrassment" /><br />
<br />
*sigh*<br />
<br />
Oh, and I have to go back in ten days, because I'm 18w2d and they couldn't see as much as they wanted and baby was being VERY obstinate about position (he was breech and comfy and not moving thankyouverymuch!) <br />
<br />
So more pictures and a video next time!</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b> psst... did I mention? It's<span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: blue;"> <b>A BOY!</b></span></span></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-67206113000767209262008-11-04T11:49:00.000-05:002008-11-04T11:52:25.248-05:00Things Overheard While Voting...<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Things I overheard this morning while voting:<br />
<br />
"I love that Sarah Palin. She believes everything I do. I'm so lucky."<br />
<br />
"I'm just voting the way God told me to vote."<br />
<br />
"I saw on the TV this morning, there were long lines in Detroit already, before the polls even opened." <br />
"Really? What color were they?" <br />
"It was <i>Detroit</i>, what color do you THINK they were?" <br />
"Jeez, are you sure it wasn't the welfare line?"<br />
<br />
Wow. Me, I just stood in line with my lips zipped until I could get out of there. The kids are off school for 'voting day' so we were tag-team voting.<br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
I got home and told Michael. He was still in the shower.<br />
</b> </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Sticking his wet head out, he exclaimed, "Are you making this up?"<br />
<br />
Right.<br />
<br />
Like I could make this stuff up!? Like I have to?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Go vote.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Who knows what you're going to overhear!?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b> </b> </div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-32979580122730914782008-10-31T20:23:00.001-04:002008-10-31T20:30:05.127-04:00Happy Halloween!<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Time to go trick or treating!</span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweentrickortreat1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweentrickortreat1.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Look at all that candy</b></span><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">!</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></b><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweentrickortreat8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweentrickortreat8.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>I think Mom and Dad are going to have to help eat it all</b></span><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">!</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></b><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweentrickortreat10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweentrickortreat10.jpg" width="380" /></a></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-49026692392325724882008-10-30T11:44:00.000-04:002008-10-30T11:59:28.004-04:00Pumpkin Carving<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Four big pumpkins this year (we love lots and lots of seeds to roast!) </span></strong><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"></div><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Daddy always opens the pumpkins.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins6.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Time for carving, yet?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins1.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nope, first we have to get all the "gunky" out.</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div align="center" class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins2.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And there's lots of "gunky!" </span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins4.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then we get to make our faces.</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins12.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taking turns with the "safety knife." </span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins16.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our final results!</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="420" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins19.jpg" width="315" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Daddy's </span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins21.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mommy's</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="420" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins22.jpg" width="315" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Zoe's</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="420" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins23.jpg" width="315" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dmitri's</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" jf="true" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenpumpkins20.jpg" width="420" /></span></strong></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-86493261030225025842008-10-25T19:53:00.000-04:002008-10-25T20:11:17.535-04:00Halloween Fun<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>The local hardware store had a free little Halloween thing, so we took the kids. Since their school forbids both masks and any "violent" costumes or weapons, neither of them will be able to wear their full costumes. *sigh*</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/costumes3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/costumes3.jpg" width="270" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Batgirl and Wolverine might as well get some use out of them before trick or treating!</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/costumes4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/costumes4.jpg" width="285" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Even if Wolverine is missing a tooth...</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/dmitri_first_missing_tooth_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/dmitri_first_missing_tooth_2.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>They had fun in the bounce house.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun1.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>And playing in the fire truck. </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun4.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Dmitri tried on the fireman's coat. It was a little big. :)</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun2.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>They entered the coloring contest.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun6.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun7.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Even Blake colored something. </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun8.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
Plus there was face painting. </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun9.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Both of them got a bat. </b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun10.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/halloweenfun11.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><br />
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<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And then we went home full of punch and cookies. </b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Zoe said, "Today was a fun day!" </b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-73121593334073171302008-10-13T08:49:00.001-04:002008-10-13T09:11:40.329-04:00One Vote<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>I have been on a total news media lockdown all weekend. I spent all of last week (and the week before) glued to the news stations, watching election/economy coverage. And feeling sick. And just when I thought I couldn't feel any sicker... oh wait, yep. It gets worse.<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Finally, I decided I just couldn't take it anymore, and turned off the TV. My final straw was the woman at the McCain rally, the one who called Obama an "Arab" (that implied, unspoken "dirty" just before it makes me wince, every time). They played it on the local news. On CNN. On MSNBC. On Fox. They played it...and played it...and played it.<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>And every single time I wanted to crawl under the covers. How embarrassing. What a sick and twisted thing the underbelly of America has become. Our shadow is huge, and yes, I wanted to ignore it, turn away, not see such a horrible, ugly thing on display for the entire world.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Thank God there are people out there willing to look at it, willing to face it, willing to hear it even aimed at themselves, and still move forward, turned toward the light of change. </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Me, I like to hide. There are so many things I would rather not know. It feels overwhelming to acknowledge, and looks insurmountable on its face. I get overcome with a feeling of complete helplessness, powerlessness. What can I possibly do about it!?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>But then our voter registrations came in the mail. We'd reapplied for them through the mail after we moved, and it had been several weeks. I was worried. What if we didn't get them in time? And there's always that creeping feeling/voice at the back of my head... maybe there really is a conspiracy to keep voters from the polls?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>But now that I have this little piece of paper in my hand, I know that there is <i>one</i> thing I can do. It's a small thing, but it's a very important thing, perhaps the most important thing.<br /><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>I can speak up. I can stand up and be counted and let my voice be heard. It's just one voice for change, but as Mahatma Ghandi once said: "</b><b>You must be the change you wish to see in the world." </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />So I will take my little card and go to the little local high school, and I'll vote. And from my rural community, I'll watch our impending global collapse and the possibility of change from my television - a strange window to the rest of the world - and I'll read my Internet news, connected to a global community...</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>But I'll be thinking of the words of Mohandas Ghandi:<br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b>Men should do their actual living and working in communities small enough to permit of genuine self-government and the assumption of personal responsibilities, federated into larger units in such a way that the temptation to abuse great power should not arise.</b></i></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-64605615523896207342008-10-09T12:01:00.000-04:002008-10-09T12:03:51.598-04:00Results<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We had an OB appt today and I finally got my official nuchal scan u/s results back - my risk of having a baby with Downs Syndrome went from 1 in 113 to 1 in 2241, and my risk of having a baby with trisomy 13/18 went from 1 in 201 to 1 in 4001. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
Whew!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Also heard the heartbeat... the midwife couldn't find it last week, but we heard it galloping along just fine today. And we set up my anatomy ultrasound at 18 weeks - two weeks earlier than I expected.</span><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> I think we've decided to find out the gender. The kids are fighting over which they want - brother or sister - and I think getting the disappointment over now is better than waiting until the baby's actually here, kwim? </span><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> So we'll know what we're having in four more weeks...</span></b><br />
<b><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /></b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-46569555691150208222008-10-08T14:35:00.000-04:002008-10-08T14:45:23.000-04:00Happy Birthday, Autumn<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Eighteen years ago today I was in labor with my first. Today, I'm pregnant with my fifth. A nice bookend to my childbearing years. :)</b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My first baby was a surprise. She was meant to be, and although the birth itself was less than ideal in my memory, I do remember looking at her and thinking how incredible and perfect she was. I'd never been so connected to another human being before as I was the moment she was put into my arms. All my hopes and dreams for this little girl - and we were so thrilled she was a girl! - were brought to fruition in that moment. </b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">It wasn't long before we knew her laughter and her sweetness, and heard the bright, beautiful resonance of her voice. I couldn't imagine my life without her, and she's brought a great deal of joy and insight and contemplation and self-reflection to me in my life. She's always been her own person, done her own thing, from the time she was little, and I appreciate her independence and her strength. </b><br />
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</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I was a very young mother with her, and we made lots of mistakes along the way in raising her, I'm sure. Only hindsight is 20/20, and all we can do, as parents, is apologize for our human failures and look to the future. And there's no telling what the future can hold.</b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Today my first daugher is a bright, beautiful eighteen year old woman. </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Happy Birthday, Autumn. </b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-81172402966016868842008-10-07T12:36:00.000-04:002008-10-07T12:51:52.976-04:00Secret Gender<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>When I was a kid, I always hunted for and found my Christmas presents.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>I've never been big on surprises. Most of the time, to me, surprises have been pretty disappointing. I like anticipation, but only when I know WHAT is coming. I like seeing the light at the end of a tunnel, and already knowing that it's not a train!</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>So the decision to keep the gender of this baby a surprise was a tough one for me. But my first was a surprise. My ex wanted a girl, and I did, too, and that's just what she was, but we didn't know until the moment she arrived. Granted, the OB announced it, and they whisked her away to the warming table to be suctioned, and I didn't see her for a while. </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>But it was a surprise. </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>We didn't want to know the sex of our second baby, either, but when the tech asked and I told her no, we didn't know to know, she mouthed the word, "Boy!" to the other tech... and Pandora's box was open. <br />
<br />
So resisting the temptation with baby number three and four was just too difficult. And Michael wanted to know, too, so I figured, why not? People could buy us gender-specific things (and since it had been so long since I'd had a baby, I had no baby things left!) which they were begging to do...<br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>But I was going to stick to my guns with this baby. It was going to be a surprise, no matter how tempting it was to find out at that twenty-week ultrasound. A nice bookend to my first pregnancy.<br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Now I'm re-thinking that, but it's not my curious-kitty instincts that are changing my mind. What I didn't count on were the other kids having very strong preferences for one gender or the other. Zoe wants a sister. She very adamantly wants a sister. And Dmitri wants a brother. And they are fighting about it constantly, which gender it is, and who's going to get what.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>I'm trying to imagine the disappointment and resentment - inevitable, with one, if not the other - at the birth. That's gonna suck. It should be a joyful time, and I really don't want to have to console a first-grader because the baby isn't the gender they wanted. *sigh*</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>So, selfishly, I'm wondering if I should just find out now, and tell them so they can get the disappointment over with, and then get used to having either a brother or a sister? That way, there will be no big surprises for them at the birth. They'll already know if we're welcoming Luke or Lucy... </b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>I suppose it makes the most sense. And hey, I love finding out secrets. I'm fourteen weeks today, so that ultrasound is six weeks away. I still have time to consider and think about it.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
But I think I'm now leaning toward finding out.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-47814816611076279952008-10-05T12:07:00.002-04:002008-10-07T12:30:41.861-04:00Whew!<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>I had no idea how much tension I was carrying around, thinking about actually planning a hospital birth.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I was actually considering it. I am older, after all. Plus, I've had two home births, so having a baby at home is not something I would be missing out on doing. And, of course, the big consideration, insurance pays for all of it if you go to a hospital...</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">*sigh*</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I hate that money is an issue, but when you've got an insurance company willing to pay the full cost of your coverage on one hand, and you're looking at paying a midwife for a home birth out of pocket (a hell of a lot less than your insurance company would pay, granted - thousands of dollars less, which is a drop in the bucket for BCBS, but a huge chunk of change for ME!) on the other hand, it's a difficult decision to weigh.</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
And don't even get me started on the fact that we have to make this decision at all. Insurance should pay for midwives, period, wherever the birth takes place. You'd think insurance companies would jump at the chance to save the cash, but noooo... *shaking head* </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So after my u/s appt. and my run-in with the u/s doc, I started calling midwives. I've been a doula and involved in the birth community since 2001, so you'd think it would be easy, but since we've moved an hour away from the hub of where I developed all my birth contacts, it really isn't. Midwives usually don't travel more than hour or so to a birth - and you can understand why, especially for a fifth-time mom. The chances of missing a birth are just too great!</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I debated, I researched, I called other doulas, I talked to people about their experiences with the midwives who practice up here in the area, and the same name and practice kept coming up in a positive way over and over. The good news is the name was familiar to me as well. Years ago (back in 2001, actually) I did a Birthing From Within training class to become a childbirth educator, and this midwife and I had connected and had lunch together.</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I didn't expect her to remember - but when I gave her a call, she actually <i>did</i> remember! We had a long talk, connected immediately like birth-junkies tend to do - she told me all about the birth she'd just come from, a tough breech with a tired mom - and it felt immediately comfortable and easy.</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Whew.</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So I invited her over for an "interview," and she answered all my questions quite satisfactorily. Yes, the bring oxygen, yes, they carry pitocin, their transfer rate is a very low 2%, they don't demand that you take any tests (gestational diabetes, GBS, etc) or do any newborn tests you don't want. </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My only disappointment was they don't have their own water birth tub they bring - but they do know someone who rents one, so we're looking into it! I'm not sure yet if I want to. I've never done a water birth, and I really would love to, but since we're renting, I worry about the weight of the tub on the floor... can you imagine if something went wrong!? Eek!</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But I'll cross that bridge when I get there...</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Oh, and she also told us she does a great deal of Amish births out this way (Awesome! I love the Amish! :) ) and she invited us to an Amish dairy farm for a "field trip" in a few weeks, so the kids can milk a cow, and pet the chickens, and get some fresh milk. How cool!</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">By the end of the night, she was hired and had her doppler out looking for the heartbeat (baby was hiding, but I know he/she's fine... I've been feeling movement since 10 weeks with this one! I think it's a gymnast...) and showing the kids a model of a 12 week fetus they could hold in their hands. Awesome. </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I literally breathed a sigh of relief that night when Michael and I were in bed, and he said the exact same thing I was thinking. "Well, that's a relief, isn't it?"</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I couldn't believe how much. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, bracing myself for dealing with the medical community. I could do that easily as a doula - but as a birthing mother? It would have made it SO much harder. (Makes you really understand one of the important roles doulas play, doesn't it?) </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Now we'll be able to stay home and really relax and enjoy the birth (you know, as much as you can enjoy excruciating pain *grin* ) </b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And two big bonuses: she comes to our house to do prenatals AND she actually charges less than rest of the midwives I talked to, even with her years and years of experience. </b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Could the universe have planned it any better?</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Whew!<br />
</b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-36725400855220961482008-10-03T11:35:00.001-04:002008-10-07T12:26:36.989-04:00Climbing the Walls<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Not me.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>The kids.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Literally.</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/dmitriclimbingthewalls1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/dmitriclimbingthewalls1.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/zoeclimbingthewalls1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/zoeclimbingthewalls1.jpg" width="420" /></a></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-17218605706020760992008-09-26T11:44:00.001-04:002008-10-07T12:25:53.078-04:00Expired Eggs?<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So, when we went to the OB (yes, we went to an OB... *gasp* But only so I can get some tests done I want that insurance will pay for... ;) ) he made a comment about my eggs. </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Granted, I said something first. I mentioned that I wanted the first trimester screen for Trisomy disorders (13, 18, Down's Syndrome, etc.) because at 38 (39 by the time this baby is born) my eggs are just a <i>little</i> past their expiration date. </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">He nodded and said, "I always tell my patients, you've had those eggs since you were born! Would you eat eggs that were 38 years old?"</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Okay, first of all... dude, no one gets to make comments about my eggs but me. Got it? That's like a direct reference to a woman's age, which, at mine, just isn't cool. Secondly... who would EAT human eggs!? Like, what, they're some strange sort of caviar!? That brings up some twisted horror cannibalism thing I don't even want to think about... eww!</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But I digress. The OB and I had a little discussion about birth, I refused a pelvic or pap (just had a pap back in January, I'm good, thanks!) and although the nurse looked at me like I had three heads and kept trying to get me to strip for her and put on the little paper dress (three times! She came back three times! lol) the doc was okay with my refusal. </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The important this is he ordered my test and we went and saw the baby. Again. Looks more like a baby now than a blob, which was nice to see. But again, my knowledge of birth and all that "doctorin' stuff" irked someone. </b><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The u/s results themselves came out fine... from everything I could discern. They didn't check a lot of the soft markers I thought they should have, but the nuchal space wasn't measuring abnormal, so that's good, and we did see a nasal bone.</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If you don't know anything about the new first trimester screen for genetic issues, the ultrasound portion is called the "nuchal translucency scan." Basically, they're checking a space behind the baby's neck to see if it's swollen. They've discovered that a majority (1 in 4) babies with a trisomy disorder will have a swollen nuchal space. They also check other things - like the appearance of a nasal bone. Down's Syndrome babies often don't have one that appears between the 11-13th week (when they do this test) but you can normally see the nasal bone in babies without a trisomy disorder. There are other soft markers they look for (echogenic bowel, cysts in the brain, etc.) as well, and they also do a blood test to check both HCG and PAPPA in the mother's blood. They put it all together and give you a risk factor for giving birth to a child with a genetic disorder.</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I probably wouldn't have even considered this test, if I didn't know how exponentially the odds go up of having a child with a trisomy disorder after the age of thirty-five. You can see, on this table, how the risks go up.<br />
</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<table border="2" cellpadding="2"><tbody>
<tr> <th><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">Age (years)</span> </th> <th><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">Frequency of Fetuses with Down<br />
Syndrome to Normal Fetuses<br />
at 16 weeks of pregnancy</span> </th> <th><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">Frequency of Live Births of<br />
Babies with Down Syndrome<br />
to Normal Births</span> </th> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">15 - 19</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">----</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 1250</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">20 - 24</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">----</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 1400</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">25 - 29</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">----</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 1100</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">30 - 31</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">----</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 900</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">32</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">----</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 750</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">33</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 420</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 625</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">34</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 325</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 500</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">35</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 250</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 350</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">36</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 200</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 275</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">37</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 150</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 225</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">38</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 120</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 175</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">39</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 100</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 140</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">40</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 75</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 100</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">41</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 60</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 85</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">42</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 45</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 65</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">43</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 35</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 50</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">44</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 30</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 40</span> </td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">45 and older</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 20</span> </td> <td align="center"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">1 / 25</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
So anyway, back to the actual ultrasound. The tech was having a hard time getting baby to move into the position she wanted, so she didn't take hardly any time at the end to take good pics because she was too frustrated. </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">(And although I wanted a video, and they told me on the phone they could do one, the tech told me, "Oh we will only tape once, so I'll do it now if you want, but this isn't a very long or interesting scan, you should probably wait for the 20 week one. GRRR. Okay, fine, then... figured I'd get pictures, that would suffice. *sigh*) </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Anyway, she got so frustrated with baby's uncooperativeness that she even called the doc in to re-check what she'd measured. Then, of course, the doc decides to blame it on my weight... but when I asked if a transvag would be better, she said, "no."<br />
<br />
And then the doc says, "You need to have an u/s every 5-6 weeks from now on to measure the baby's size." Huh? WTH? Why?<br />
<br />
"It's hard to palpate a baby on someone your size, and we need to know how big baby will be for delivery."<br />
<br />
Oh freakin' PLEASE! I've had two home births and two midwives who could palpate my babies JUST fine, thankyouverymuch. (I didn't say that... )<br />
<br />
I DID say, "Isn't late u/s notoriously inaccurate for judging a baby's actual size?"<br />
<br />
"Well, something is better than nothing."<br />
<br />
FEH!<br />
<br />
She was also really, really, really hard to get info out of. She didn't like that I was educated about the scan, that I knew terms like "echogenic bowel" and wanted to know if baby had one. She was very avoidant, and just kept giving me the equivalent of "don't worry your pretty head about it" again and again. GRRRR.<br />
<br />
So I'll ask for copies of the test results from the doc in two weeks, when I see him, and I'm calling around to interview home birth midwives this week.<br />
<br />
Guess I needed a kick in the butt to motivate me! </b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But here are two (albiet blurry) pictures of little Luke or Lucy:</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/BabyUS9_25_08_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="333" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/BabyUS9_25_08_b.jpg" width="420" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/BabyUS9_25_08_a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="336" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/BabyUS9_25_08_a.jpg" width="420" /></a></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-51618289660828348582008-09-23T10:41:00.000-04:002008-09-23T10:45:03.568-04:00Questions<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Questions Zoe has asked every day this week:</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
How big is the baby today?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Is the baby coming out today?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>When's the baby coming again?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Can we tell if it's a boy or girl yet?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Questions Dmitri has asked every day this week:<br />
<br />
Can I have another snack?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Why can't I take Pokemon cards to school?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Is it martial arts day yet? (They just started Tae Kwon Do last week)</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Can I go outside and play?</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-46173449239342198622008-09-13T15:57:00.000-04:002008-09-13T22:17:13.282-04:00The Rabbit Really Died!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/pregnancy_test.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0pt none; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img height="315" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/pregnancy_test.jpg" style="border: 0pt none;" width="420" /></a></div><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Okay, not really... but if we were back in the day, he would have! Now I just have a little plastic stick with some chemical paper reaction to say, "We're Pregnant!" Baby number five, due April 8, 2009, planning another home birth. This one will be an Aries... THAT should be fun! We were planning another Aquarian, but the universe had other plans.</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We did see an OB, had an early ultrasound. That was new - I've never had one so early. There's actually a moving-around little baby in there! It's only about the size of a kumquat, apparently, although I swear I've felt it moving already!</b><br />
<br />
<b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Here's a "picture" of our little one:</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/BabyUS9_11_08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/BabyUS9_11_08.jpg" width="413" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you can't tell, that round thing on the right is the head - the rest, kind of curling around on the left, is the body. (Baby's looking down). If you look close, you can see little arms and legs. We actually saw them waving around at us during the ultrasound!</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We told the kids - Zoe is so excited she can hardly contain herself. We let her call and tell the grandparents. Dmitri got to tell them <i>when</i> the baby's coming. And he made it very clear that he wants a baby <i>brother.</i> Zoe wants a baby <i>sister.</i> So <i>someone</i> is gonna be disappointed... :x </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We're still tossing around name variations, but we know, at least, what the baby will be called. If it's a girl: Lucy; and if it's a boy: Luke. We've got all sorts of variations and spellings, though, from Lucille, Lucia, Lucida or Lucienne for a girl to Lucas, Lucius, and Lukanos for a boy. And more...<br />
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</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He/she will be named after both of his/her maternal grandmothers (they were both named Lucille) and a very good friend of ours, Luke, who passed away a few years ago. As for middle names, we may just go all egotistical with Dawn and Michael, who knows? :)</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">NOW we just have to try and stick to our guns and NOT find out the sex beforehand. I already have grandmothers who want to buy clothes, who are clamoring to know! Eek! I don't know if I can sit in the ultrasound room, and have the tech find out, and NOT ask. At first, I really wanted it to be a surprise, but now Michael says he doesn't care if it's a surprise - he'd be fine with knowing or waiting.</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sheesh. Make my life difficult why don't ya?!</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
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</b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1931044857030777009.post-20044463017480546972008-09-04T20:04:00.000-04:002008-09-04T20:07:41.391-04:007:15 pm<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>So it's 7:15 p.m. and in my bed, there's this:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/sleepingzoe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/sleepingzoe.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>In the livingroom, there's this:</b></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/sleepingdmitri.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee50/birthtenders/sleepingdmitri.jpg" width="420" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I think 1st grade must be tough! ;)</b><br />
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </b>Country Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13548479626760127632noreply@blogger.com1