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Showing posts with label jessica seinfeld. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jessica seinfeld. Show all posts

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Could it Bee Any Worse?


There are a lot of folks out here in the country who keep bees. They jar and sell the honey and also have the added benefit of local bees to pollinate their gardens. I've actually thought about doing it myself. As insects go, I think bees are one of the coolest.

But now the bees are disappearing. Not just a few bees, but hundreds of thousands of them. A woman I was talking to last week mentioned that half her hive was gone. The bees just mysteriously left their hive and never came back.

The PBS wildlife-documentary series Nature premiered Sunday with Silence of the Bees. They emphasize this isn't just a local or isolated problem. It's happened in thirty-five states in the U.S. and has been documented in France, England, Spain, China and Australia as well.

While they're (hopefully) on their way to finding out the reason (possibly some sort of bee virus) and (cross your fingers!) a cure, the reality is, if they don't, the disappearance of the bees will affect three-quarters of the entire world's food crops. If that isn't environmental news to pay attention to, I don't know what is!

Yet there was more media and frenzy around bird flu (whatever happened to that?) and West Nile than I've heard about the disappearing bees--but this will have much more, far-reaching effects than those.

So where is the concern, where's the media attention? I hear it in environmental circles, but not so much in the mainstream media. In fact, I've actually heard it denied in the mainstream, downplayed and explained as a "cycle," a similar argument made about global warming as well.

Should we believe nothing is connected? That melting polar ice caps, California wildfires, and dying bees have nothing in common? Are we really so blind? How can we look around at the mounting evidence and keep denying our human part in it?

If nothing else, we need to pay attention to the message the bees are sending.

The natural balance of the world is out of whack.

Everything is connected, and even the smallest things matter.

Wouldn't it be strangely ironic if the demise of civilization came down to something as simple as the dying out of the honeybee?

It makes me wonder when the mainstream media will start paying this some real attention. When people start starving?

Maybe if we point out to them that Jessica Seinfeld's possible plagiarism is going to be proven completely irrelevent because, without bees to pollinate them, there won't be any vegetables or fruits for her or any other mother to puree and sneak into their kids' food--that is, if her husband's new Bee Movie and the message of the dying honeybees isn't finally taken to heart...



Think that might get their attention?

Perhaps we should point out to them that cartoon bees can't, in fact, pollinate flowers. We can't manufacture CGI bees to do the job, folks.

Or should we just start with this?

"Soylent Green is people!"

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Art Imitating Vegetables

Don't you hate it when vegetables sneak up on you when you're not looking?

No, not Terry Schiavo.



(Ooooo I'm so going to hell. Line forms on the right to get out of the way of the lightning bolt...)

I'm talking about broccolli, carrots, zucchini, all pureed into nothing and put in your chocolate!

"You got brownies in my eggplant!"

"Well you got eggplant in my brownies!"

Who in the world would think of doing this to poor little ol' chocolate?

Apparently, two women--both who think lying to their children is perfectly okay--got this very same idea, at the very same time.

Coincidence?

One of them is Jessica Seinfeld. Yeah, that's Jerry Seinfeld's wife. She published the book Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets To Get Your Kids Eating Good Food. And then appears on Ho-Prah to hawk it. It's now selling like hotcakes. (With shredded carrots hidden inside, of course)



All was well in the Kingdom of Seinfeld.

But then... the New York Post ran an article, wondering if Ms. Seinfeld might be a little, teeny, eensy, weensy bit guilty of plagiarism. Why? Because a few months before Ms. Seinfeld's books hit the shelves, another publisher released this one: The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies For Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals. Which has some very sneaky damned vegetables in it as well. And apparently, chef Missy Chase Lapine marketed her book to Seinfeld's publisher, but was turned down cold. Twice.

Now, maybe I'm a cynic. But first of all, does anyone believe that Jessica Seinfeld cooks? For her children or anyone else?

Secondly, I don't care who stole what from whom, both of these books should be banned and burned.

Children should have to sit in front of dinner plates with twelve peas, or three stalks of broccoli, from dinner time until bed time, and then have them served cold again for breakfast, just like I did when I was a kid. What kind of sissy generation are we raising, anyway? :P

And lastly, I think this whole incident just proves that Jerry's idea for episode #38, "The Letter" where he finds out his new girlfriend, Nina, is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a letter on television was just art imitating life imitating art imitating vegetables.