Brusha Brusha Brusha

I saw Joan Lunden on The View the other day. (Hey, I was folding laundry and there was nothing else on, okay!?) Apparently, having seven children and being in the media spotlight makes her a great spokesperson for the American Dental Association. She wants to get out the word about dental health, which is great and all, but she suggested that parents stop giving bottled water to their children - why?

Because it doesn't contain fluoride.

woppitywoppitywoppity <--sound of my head shaking in disbelief

I don't care how many kids Ms. Lunden has - she is seriously misinformed about fluoride and just fed that misinformation to millions of viewers. Way to go, Joan!

Fluoride is toxic, even in small amounts. You're supposed to call poison control if your child digests more than a pea-sized bit of toothpaste! The ADA actually has stopped recommending using fluoridated water to make infant formula, because studies have shown that giving fluoride to babies whose teeth are just forming causes dental fluorisis - white, yellow and brown spotted and pitted enamel.

(Now if they'd just stop recommending formula altogether...!)

Think fluoride is good for you? Well read on:

"The fluoride added to 90% of the drinking water is hydrofluoric acid, which is a compund of fluorine that is a chemical byproduct of aluminum, steel, cement, phosphate, and nuclear weapons manufacturing. Such fluoride is manmade. In this form, fluoride has no nutrient value whatsoever. It is one of the most caustic of industrial chemicals. Fluoride is the active toxin in rat poison and cockroach powder. Hydrofluoric acid is used to refine high octane gasoline, to make fluorocarbons and chlorofluorocarbons for freezers and air conditioners, and to manufacture computer screens, florescent light bulbs, semiconductors, plastics, herbicides -- and toothpaste. It also has the ability to burn flesh to the bone, destroy eyes and sear lungs so that victims drown in their own body fluid." *

Yikes!

Of course, now you're going to say, "But they've been putting fluoride in our water for over fifty years now! It has to be safe! And hasn't the rate of tooth decay gone down?"

Yes. But remember, correlation does not equal causation. Studies done by the World Health Organization have actually shown that tooth decay has decreased at the same rate in countries whether water was fluoridated or not. Other studies have also shown that rates of tooth decay haven't gone up when fluoride was taken out of the water (and sometimes - the rate of decay even goes down!)

On top of it's ineffectiveness, fluoride is still being added to our water, our vitamins, processed foods, soda, tea, you name it. What is it doing to our bodies? It penetrates teeth, yes... but guess what? It also penetrates and stays in our bones. Yummy! Fluoride is actually contributing to osteoporosis. Studies have shown that it may be lowering fertility rates and interfering with the production of melatonin (it's a hormone that helps regulate the onset of puberty.) It also depresses the immune system by suppressing antibody formation and may increase the risk of cancerous tumors.

Many European countries have banned the use of fluoride altogether, and there are actually few countries that use fluoridation. The science behind this mass dosing of our entire country with a potentially toxic substance is not only dubious - it's highly unethical.

So why is it still being used in the U.S.? I bet you've already guessed. Money! Fluoridation is a multi-billion dollar industry, and thanks to Joan Lunden, now even more sheeple will have their belief in the whitewashed version of the truth about fluoride in our drinking water reinforced. Thanks, Joan!

I will say this - I'm glad we're on a system with well water now. My water isn't bleached and chlorinated and stripped of all its nutrients. We're not being exposed to fluoride anymore through our skin, in the shower, in our cooking water. And we drink bottled, filtered water - with no added fluoride, and use unfluoridated toothpaste.

I'm angry with Joan for spouting the party line and I feel bad for her seven kids. Elizabeth Hasselbeck went on and on about how Joan was such a good mother, and a shining example for all mothers out there. I couldn't help rolling my eyes and swearing at the television. Look, if you want to really be a good mother, do your research. Don't follow mainstream ideas just because they're mainstream. Don't do everything your doctor tells you, just because they say so.

The truth really IS out there.

You just have to open your eyes and look.

Allergies

Well apparently, I'm allergic.

To everything.

I went for allergy testing on Friday. I'm allergic to grass pollen, weed pollen, ragweed pollen, corn pollen (what IS that?) dust mites... and I'm also allergic to dogs. And cats.

Which means we're going to be looking for new homes for our furbabies. :( Wahhhhhhhhhhh!

I'm going to try to keep one - the one who's been with us the longest and sheds the least, our cocker spaniel, Sophie.

And this means my needlephobic not so little behind has to go into the doctor once a week for the next FIVE YEARS to get an allergy shot.

Why did I go get tested again?

Oh yeah... that whole breathing thing. It can be useful, I suppose.

*sigh*

I'm just glad they didn't test me for any food allergies. If they'd found I was allergic to chocolate, I might have just ended it all right there!

10 Things I'm Grateful For When I'm Sick

1. Flannel sheets

2. Popsicles - especially banana flavored ones

3. Constant Comment tea - with lots of sugar. Well, Splenda, now. And a splash of milk.

4. A warm, soft down comforter

5. Ricola cough drops - have to be original, though, not lemon.

6. The kind of Kleenex with the lotion in it. Just don't try to clean your glasses with them. Bad idea.

7. Lite canned peaches and toast.

8. Aspirin. It's white magic.

9. Michael's touch. I think he was a healer in a former life, I swear it.

10. Leftover antibiotics. (I know, I know! But I always get sick on the weekend, when I'd have to go to the ER to get any, or suffer until Monday - so thank goodness for penicillin I forgot to finish!)

Dustbin Blues

The worst thing about having kids?

I can handle dirty diapers, crayons on the walls, broken keepsakes, peanut butter in the VCR, apple juice all over the keyboard...

But the thing I hate most... is germs.

I've been sick more since the beginning of September (when the kids, coincidentally, started school) than I was all of last year! That's a year's worth of illness packed into three months. What do I have to look forward to for the next seven, I wonder?

Right now, it's strep throat. Yay me. *sigh* A hundred and two degree fever, an all-over body ache and a throat that's on fire. Don't ya wanna be me? Just in time for the weekend, too. Perfect.

Yesterday, I was a cleaning maniac. Today, I'm Cameron in Ferris Bueller... "I'm dying...!"

"When Cameron was in Egypt's land... let our Cameron go..."

Michael made me tea (Constant Comment, my favorite) and toast and brought me aspirin. Looks like I'm going to spend the day in bed. Which, really, isn't necessarily a bad thing, when I think about it. Would be nice to catch up on sleep.

"You're not dying, you just can't think of anything better to do!"

Well, he's got a point. What do I have to do? Hm... so much for those Christmas decorations. Oh well, there's always next weekend.

Besides, I'm still recovering from the annual room cleaning fiasco. Four hours of cleaning, sorting, holding up tiny pieces of plastic and asking, "What's this to?... Do you have that toy anymore?... Isn't that the one you buried in the sand at the old house and then forgot where you buried it?"

What did I discover? Here's the top ten:

1. Six marbles to the chinese checkers game. Glued into the underside of Legos. I didn't, however, find the actual Krazy Glue. Yet.

2. Seven socks that I've been looking for forever tied in knots and made into a "rope" hanging from Zoe's dollhouse bedroom window (which faces the wall - no wonder I didn't see it!) Apparently, she did it during "fire safety week" at school.

3. A naked Fairytopia Barbie with two amputated feet (dog victim, I believe, from the markings) but Michael said, "She's still hot."

4. Zoe had the paper punch, two pairs of scissors, the stapler and four rolls of tape. It took me fifteen minutes to vaccum all of the "confetti" she'd made out of her school library book. I wonder how much I'm going to have to pay to replace, "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends"?

5. Eight dollars and twenty-nine cents in change.

6. Four spoons, a very bent and deformed fork, and lots of peanut butter sandwich cracker wrappers.

7. The dog's leash (I wondered where that was!)

8. A line of McDonald's french fries along the baseboard behind the dresser leading up to a peach pit. It was like the perfect ant-highway!

9. A bottle of nail polish. Red. Thankfully, they couldn't get the top off.

10. Two pairs of tweezers, a slew of bandaids put on various stuffed animals, and last but not least, and empty contact case. I'm pretty sure they DID have contacts in them at one point.

Okay, I have a date with Ferris Bueller, a box of Kleenex, and a down comforter. G'nite!

Laughter is the Best Medicine

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but I honestly think the saying "laughter is the best medicine" carries more weight. (Do you think I could have fit some more trite phrases into that sentence if I tried a little harder?)

I've had people tell me they love my laugh. I don't get it, but all my life people have said it enough that I'm tempted to almost believe them. Apparently, it's infectious. My husband says my smile and laugh lights up a room. (But he has to say that, he married me, right?)

Still, I do love to laugh. My ex and I used to go to comedy clubs and come home with our sides aching from laughing so hard. I'm lucky now, though, that my husband makes me laugh every day. And he's especially good at it when I'm feeling sick or grumpy or headachy or premenstrual.

Michael has the goofiest sense of humor. He loves puns, plays on words, and strangeness. He comes up with thoughts and ideas that never would have occurred to me, which is why, I suppose, he surprises a laugh out of me at least twice a day.

Yesterday he came home for lunch and I was feeling cranky. It was one of those days I didn't feel like doing anything--including getting out of bed. Although I did anyway--begrudgingly.

We were cuddled on the couch while he idly flipped channels on the remote. (Ever notice how guys like to do that to sort of relax and zone out?) And inevitably, he skips over the shows I would stop at and stops at the ones I'd skip. It never fails.

So he paused briefly at one of those cop chase shows, "Disorderly Conduct" or some such thing. The voiceover is low and serious: "The suspect is driving ninety miles an hour, endangering life and limb, but the officers must proceed with caution, because they believe the suspect may be armed."

Michael snorts. "Of course he's armed. It would be hard to drive a car without arms, now wouldn't it?"

Surprised, I laugh out loud, shaking my head at his interpretation.

He flips for a while, we talk a little bit, he passes over good stuff like "The View" and "Family Feud" and somehow ends up back on the cop show again. We're watching a different car chase this time, a white Bronco going much faster than OJ's ever did, all over the road.

The announcer comes on, still deadly serious: "The driver, after failing the breathalyzer test and escaping in his vehicle, is now weaving, giving the officers a run for their money."

"Well no wonder he's all over the road," Michael says. "Thank god he wasn't knitting."

It took me a minute... what the--? Knitting? And then it clicks... ohhhhh, weaving... knitting. And again, I'm laughing, rolling my eyes and groaning, but laughing anyway.

And on it went... like a Mystery Science Theater in my living room. By the time he left again for work, I was in much better spirits than I had been before he came home for lunch.

He kissed me goodbye and said, "You know, you always cheer me up."

The feeling's mutual.

Vaccinations: Where Do You Put Your Faith?

There was an article today in Yahoo news about parents who are claiming religious exemptions to vaccination, when in actuality their religion doesn't prohibit vaccination. The implication is, of course, that these parents are doing something wrong. The article seems to say that these parents are putting not only their own children at risk, but other children as well.

I don't immunize my children. It isn't because I'm a lazy or neglectful parent. In fact, the opposite is true. I've done extensive research on the subject and have come to the personal conclusion that the possible risks (known and unknown) of the vaccines themselves are worse than the diseases they are trying to prevent.

Measles, mumps, diptheria, whooping cough--they're all diseases that rarely cause fatalities, and usually only in the immunodepressed, the extremely young (newborns, for example... who can't get vaccinated for these things) or the very old. Polio, which is the big, scary one, only causes paralysis in a very, very, very small percentage of cases. And in those cases, most people who do get the paralytic version of polio actually fully recover.

Maybe it's my Aquarian nature, but I'm not the type of person who is going to follow along with the rest of the sheep just because the government says so. I do believe vaccination programs were begun with the best of intentions--but we all know that good intentions don't always lead where we think they will.

I think the vaccination program is, like any bureaucratically run organization, bloated, outdated, and in need of a major overhaul or an outright burial. There have been many studies done that prove vaccines aren't as effective as the government would like you to believe.

From personal experience, I can tell you that I was vaccinated for rubella (which is a disease that can cause harm to a fetus if contracted by the mother) after having my first child because according to the titers, I wasn't immune. Three years later, I had my second child. According to the titers, I STILL wasn't immune to rubella. So I got another shot. Seven years later, I had my third child. Guess what? Still wasn't immune. I've had a total of four rubella shots in 10 years, and the levels still show that I'm not immune the disease.

The truth is, vaccination itself has become a huge money maker, for doctors as well as for individual states. Doctors actually get bonuses if their vaccination rates remain above a certain level. The federal government gives out tons of money to the states to offer "free" vaccinations to families. And I'm not supposed to be suspicious of this huge pharmaceutical money machine? Hmm... I don't think so.

For me, the most basic human right is personal freedom. I'm not against vaccinations themselves. If you want to vaccinate your child against the evil chicken pox - go right ahead. I will support your right to do so. But I should be supported in my decision not to vaccinate as well. Everyone should have a right to make their own health care choices, whether they go against what Mr. Bureaucrat says we should do or not.

Fortunately, I live in Michigan, where my right to choose for myself and my children is actually supported. Unfortunately, Michigan is one of only seventeen states in the union that will allow that sort of exemption. In the rest of the country, as the Yahoo article points out, parents are forced to lie and claim vaccination is against their religion.

The article says:

"Do I think that religious exemptions have become the default? Absolutely," said Dr. Paul Offit, head of infectious diseases at Children's Hospital in Philadelphia and one of the harshest critics of the anti-vaccine movement. He said the resistance to vaccines is "an irrational, fear-based decision."

One of the harshest critics of the anti-vaccine movement is the head of infectious disease? Oh what a surprise. How much is this doc accepting in "bonuses" to keep the immunization rate high, I wonder? As for the decision not to vaccinate being irrational and fear based? I'd like to ask Dr. Offit if he'd like a mirror. Because his response is the most irrational and fear-based one I've ever heard. It goes against the evidence, and frankly, I think the doc's a little afraid of getting thrown off the vaccination money train.

(And don't get me started on Dr. Offit. He's one of the holders of the rotavirus patent. The one that was originally pulled off the market? Yeah that one. According to the Wall Street Journal, he gets paid to teach other doctors about the "safety" of vaccines. And he owns stock in Merck, who manufactures the rotavirus vaccine now on the market--but he's on the CDC advisory board. Holy conflict of interests, Batman! Oh, and that particularly vaccine costs 5x as much as most vaccines.)

Let's look at the "facts" Dr. Offit and his cronies seem to want to believe. If vaccinations are as effective as the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services cite, then what is Dr. Offit afraid of, exactly? The CDC claims (depending on the vaccination) a 97-100% success rate.

Then why does the doctor from the Yahoo article say:

"When you choose not to get a vaccine, you're not just making a choice for yourself, you're making a choice for the person sitting next to you," said Dr. Lance Rodewald, director of the CDC's Immunization Services Division.

If vaccines were anywhere near the 100% effectiveness they claim, there should be no worries about those who have already been vaccinated. They're protected for life -- right?

The truth that Dr. Offit and other vaccination proponents don't want you to know is that contracting these childhood diseases - measles, mumps, rubella, whooping cough - during childhood actually gives someone lifetime immunity to that disease.

Most of these involve a few days to a week of illness and are milder for children than for adults. In fact, immunizations often just prolong the contraction of these diseases, and when someone's supposed "lifetime" immunity from a vaccination runs out and they get the mumps, for example, an adult man could end up sterile.

So since vaccinations provide limited duration immunity, may contain potentially dangerous and toxic chemicals, and often only prolong getting the disease it's supposed to prevent, it seems to me the only rational decision available to a parent would be to waive immunizations.

If it comes down to lying and saying it's a "faith-based" decision, or putting my faith in Dr. Offit and the Vaccinations=Money Squad...

I'm all for lying.

Thursday Thirteen #4: 13 Yoga Poses I Can't Do

13 Yoga Poses I Can't Do

1. Crane Pose



2. One Legged King Pigeon Pose



3. Eagle Pose



4. Plow Pose



5. Monkey Pose



6. Lord of the Dance Pose



7. Full Boat Pose



8. Warrior III



9. Wheel Pose



10. Handstand Pose



11. Scale Pose



12. Pose Dedicated to the Sage Marichi III



13. Pose Dedicated to the Sage Marichi I

Thursday Thirteen Participants

1. damozel 2. jenn

3. MissMeliss 4. Sparky Duck

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Migraine Train

I've got a migraine coming on. It's both the change in the weather (it's an unseasonable 86 degrees today. Quite funny, with all the leaves turning and the kids going to their cider mill field trip today!) and "time of the month." I can count on twice a month migraines now, at least. Sometimes more.

Before I started getting migraines, I admit, I was very unsympathetic to people who did. I mean... it's a headache. How bad can it be? You take some aspirin, maybe lay down for an hour. Don't be such a baby!

Ha. Karma wheel turns, see? It seems I'm now paying for my rather callous an uncompassionate view. Migraines don't just hurt. Migraines are evil incarnate running lose in your head. Imagine a giant pulling open your skull and squeezing your brain out of all its juices once every two minutes or so. For two days. Now times that by ten.

Yeah, I know, I'm such a baby.

I felt it coming on this morning. Michael and I were up too late, then Zoe got a bloody nose in the middle of the night (that's been happening out of nowhere lately) which meant more interrupted sleep, and I woke up feeling dizzy, head fuzzy, covered in sweat (we had the windows open then, but thankfully we didn't take the window air conditioner out of our room--it's on full blast now and I'm chilling, literally, in front of it!) and I just knew. Migraine's coming.

I get that Johnny Cash song in my head whenever I know it's on the way. Michael listens to him all the time, so I actually get Johnny Cash ear worms stuck in my head quite regularly. But one of his most famous songs, Folsum Prison Blues, is just so catchy, and fits nicely into my head just before the brain-squeezing giant arrives:

"Migraine a train's a comin

It's coming 'round the bend

I ain't gonna see the sunshine

Til I don't know when...

I'm stuck in Migraine Prison

And time keeps draggin' on..."

The thing about it is, I won't know if the medicine is going to work for a while. Migraines also come with nausea and sensitivity to light, so I'm often on my knees in front of the toilet bowl hoping I don't puke while digging through my purse, looking for my Great God Imitrex Fix. Once I've washed it down, then it's just a matter of waiting. Is that light at the end of the tunnel... or is it a train?

I hate it when it happens on visitation weekends, too. Poor Blake. He gets a drugged out, blind-with-pain mom to visit. How fun!? That's just what I was thinking this morning. I don't need this! Right. Like I ever need it? There's lots I'd rather be doing.

In fact, here are ten things I'd rather be doing instead of having a migraine today. Wish me luck.

1. I'd rather do childbirth again. All four times.



2. I'd rather clean the bathtub. With my tongue.



3. I'd rather have kidney stones. (Yes, I have had them, I do know how much they hurt.)



4. I'd rather have gall stones. (Yes, I've had those, too.)



5. I'd rather watch back to back three-day marathons of Family Matters and Full House.



6. I'd rather be on Fear Factor eating bull's testicles.



7. I'd rather be locked in a room with Anne Coulter and Bill O'Reilly.



8. I'd rather have sex with Newt Gingrich. (Wait... maybe not... well... it would be over quick, right?)



9. I'd rather have Gilbert Gottfried's voice in my head all day.



10. I'd rather read both K-Fed and Britney's biographies. Twice.

See! I told you they were bad.

Thursday Thirteen #3: 13 Yoga Poses I Can Do

13 Yoga Poses I Can Do

1. Downward Facing Dog Pose



2. Fish Pose



3. Heron Pose



4. Gate Pose



5. Warrior I Pose



6. Warrior II Pose



7. Tree Pose



8. Upward Facing Dog



9. Half Lord of the Pigeons Pose



10. Salutation Seal Pose



11. Cobra Pose



12. Lotus Pose



13. Savasana (Corpse Pose)



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Thursday Thirteen Participants

1. Blue Momma

2. jenn

3. Thomma Lyn

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Puking, Pumpkins, Plumbers...

Day two of the mysterious fever and unknown illness of the two youngest homo sapiens in the house. Slight congestion seems to be apparent, and a low to midgrade fever, along with general malaise. The "Could Be Anything" Bug has struck!

We don't do doctors unless we have to--which generally means being sick longer than 3 days or a high fever or something like that. And we don't have a doctor here, yet. Which will be tricky, because we don't vaccinate. I'm considering selectively vaccinating--perhaps polio--but for the most part, I think the body is pretty amazing and made to heal itself. Of course, I'm not like some religious zealot about it or anything. If someone gets cancer, we're getting the radiation and chemo... WHILE we do all the alternative stuff. (Spitting on the ground twice and knocking fervently on wood after even typing that out loud!)

So I'm hoping the Ibuprofen will be enough to hold off the Could Be Anything Bug long enough for the kids' immune systems to kick in. They both crawled into our bed this morning while hubbie was getting ready for work and made a mommy sandwich, asking for medicine.

But Z said: "Not the pink kind. It makes me pook." That's her version of "puke." She says she hates "pooking." Now, really... who doesn't? But ever since I gave her a dose before I realized it was stomach flu and not just a rumbly tummy and she immediately threw up all over her Strawberry Shortcake sheets, she has continually refused the "pink stuff," believing that it was the medicine that make her vomit. I assured her that she didn't need any of that kind of medicine, dosed them both up with Motrin, and we cuddled in bed to watch Muppets in Space.

Sick days are jammie days, so we didn't get out of ours. Until the phone rang. The -plumber, who was supposed to be here last Friday, but called with a family emergency and rescheduled for Monday, but never showed up or called... finally wanted to come out. Today. About nowish. So much for mommy having a jammie-day, too. I jumped in the shower and started straightening, trying to decide just how much mess was acceptable for the impending plumber visit.

The problem Mr. Plumber was coming to fix was twofold. 1. We have a leak in the ceiling which is just under the bathtub. 2. We have little to no water pressure. For a month I have been waiting 20 minutes for a bathtub to fill up to bathe the kids. I call our morning showers "drizzles." The best I can describe it... if you close your eyes while you're under our shower, you'd swear someone was peeing on your head. It's that bad. So while I was a little miffed at actually having to get showered and dressed today, I was actually looking forward to Mr. Plumber's visit.

Unfortunately, it turned out to be a two minute affair after all my running around-- loading the dishwasher, sweeping junk from the counters into a box and tossing it into the garage, and swishing the toilet bowl brush around that well-water stain in the bottom. He stayed long enough to tell me that it wasn't a problem with the plumbing, it was a problem with the caulking. "Bathrooms are supposed to be waterproof," he said. Well. Really? Duh. "Yours isn't." Um, yeah. We noticed. When I asked about the water pressure, he said, "That's a problem with the well. You need to call a well technician." Oh. And here I thought plumbing was plumbing. Apparently not!

So Mr. Plumber left, none of the problems fixed, and I stood at the front door watching forlornly as he drove away... and that's when I noticed the pumpkin. Well, it's not actually a pumpkin yet... it's just a vine growing out of a pot. The woman who lived here before us planted a pumpkin for us "for the little ones," she said. I thought it was sweet. I had never really considered how long pumpkin vines grow. Guess I should have paid more attention during those Charlie Brown specials? Not only that, but they're very pokey. I went out because I noticed some brown leaves near the top that I figured I should pull off... but ouch! Prickly little suckers!

I have no idea if it will actually grow a pumpkin or not. Even if it does, I have a feeling she planted it rather late. From what I'm reading, we should have fruit already... and there's nothing I can see that resembles a pumpkin. But it's kind of fun to watch the vine trailing along the side of the porch, getting bigger every day. It's rather strange and alien. Of course, growing things in general are all a bit odd to me. The thought that there might be something attached to that spikey vine that we could consume? Weird!

Of course, I'm the mom who said, "That's true" when my youngest answered the question, "Where does milk come from?" with "The store!" This whole living in the country thing really is going to take some getting used to...

Anyone know a good well-technician in the area?

That's okay... all I have to do is go next door and ask the neighbors...! :)