13 REASONS YOU SHOULDN'T
GO TO A HAUNTED HOUSE
1. You're afraid of the dark
2. You've already spent ten years in therapy
3. You just ate three elephant ears, two corn dogs and a bag of cotton candy
4. You already have a second mortgage (have you seen how much admission to one of these haunted houses costs!? It's like getting into Disney World!)
5. You lost your youngest last year in the Haunted Maze and they still haven't found him
6. You don't have health insurance
7. You're allergic to latex
8. You just bought new underwear
9. Your own house is scary enough
10. You're out of blood pressure medicine
11. Your kids insist they won't let you sleep in their beds with them anymore when you have nightmares
12. You thought Frankenweenie was scary
13. What if it's real?!
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