Dustbin Blues

The worst thing about having kids?

I can handle dirty diapers, crayons on the walls, broken keepsakes, peanut butter in the VCR, apple juice all over the keyboard...

But the thing I hate most... is germs.

I've been sick more since the beginning of September (when the kids, coincidentally, started school) than I was all of last year! That's a year's worth of illness packed into three months. What do I have to look forward to for the next seven, I wonder?

Right now, it's strep throat. Yay me. *sigh* A hundred and two degree fever, an all-over body ache and a throat that's on fire. Don't ya wanna be me? Just in time for the weekend, too. Perfect.

Yesterday, I was a cleaning maniac. Today, I'm Cameron in Ferris Bueller... "I'm dying...!"

"When Cameron was in Egypt's land... let our Cameron go..."

Michael made me tea (Constant Comment, my favorite) and toast and brought me aspirin. Looks like I'm going to spend the day in bed. Which, really, isn't necessarily a bad thing, when I think about it. Would be nice to catch up on sleep.

"You're not dying, you just can't think of anything better to do!"

Well, he's got a point. What do I have to do? Hm... so much for those Christmas decorations. Oh well, there's always next weekend.

Besides, I'm still recovering from the annual room cleaning fiasco. Four hours of cleaning, sorting, holding up tiny pieces of plastic and asking, "What's this to?... Do you have that toy anymore?... Isn't that the one you buried in the sand at the old house and then forgot where you buried it?"

What did I discover? Here's the top ten:

1. Six marbles to the chinese checkers game. Glued into the underside of Legos. I didn't, however, find the actual Krazy Glue. Yet.

2. Seven socks that I've been looking for forever tied in knots and made into a "rope" hanging from Zoe's dollhouse bedroom window (which faces the wall - no wonder I didn't see it!) Apparently, she did it during "fire safety week" at school.

3. A naked Fairytopia Barbie with two amputated feet (dog victim, I believe, from the markings) but Michael said, "She's still hot."

4. Zoe had the paper punch, two pairs of scissors, the stapler and four rolls of tape. It took me fifteen minutes to vaccum all of the "confetti" she'd made out of her school library book. I wonder how much I'm going to have to pay to replace, "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends"?

5. Eight dollars and twenty-nine cents in change.

6. Four spoons, a very bent and deformed fork, and lots of peanut butter sandwich cracker wrappers.

7. The dog's leash (I wondered where that was!)

8. A line of McDonald's french fries along the baseboard behind the dresser leading up to a peach pit. It was like the perfect ant-highway!

9. A bottle of nail polish. Red. Thankfully, they couldn't get the top off.

10. Two pairs of tweezers, a slew of bandaids put on various stuffed animals, and last but not least, and empty contact case. I'm pretty sure they DID have contacts in them at one point.

Okay, I have a date with Ferris Bueller, a box of Kleenex, and a down comforter. G'nite!

I'm Going In...

Today is the annual cleaning of the kids' rooms and clearing out old toys to make way for new ones at Christmas. I hate this day. Almost more than I hate going to the dentist for a root canal. Not only do I get to find all sorts of things I certainly would have enjoyed staying in denial about - like silly putty embedded into the rug, a child's name written thirty times behind the toybox, or one (yes, just one--where's the other one? "I don't know...") of my grandmother's earrings--I also have to deal with the plaintive cries of children begging, "No! Don't throw that away!"

I don't understand why toy makers insist on making toys with such small parts for children. Or why my mother-in-law insists on buying them. When they were babies, I made a rule: no plastic or noisy/electronic toys. It worked great for the first three or four years. We had wooden cars and cloth dolls and a wooden kitchen set and lots of Haba and Melissa and Doug toys. It was a Waldorf/Montessori heaven.

Then, the kids got old enough to start asking for the things they saw on TV. And while I limited TV watching, they still managed to find stuff they wanted--and told grandma all about it. She couldn't resist, of course, and suddenly I had plastic Transformers and Dora the Explorer toys coming out of my ears. Great. Just great.

I'm almost glad that this whole lead-toys thing has come about, because now I have a wonderful excuse to reinstate my rule. "No plastic or electronic/noisy toys!" Not that Melissa and Doug stuff or Haba stuff isn't made in China. It actually is, sadly enough. But the good news is they do frequent inspections of their plants and guarantee their toys. And while I'd rather invest in local toymakers if I could, I'm happy to point grandma to lead-free toys that won't clutter up the kids' rooms so much and make strange, ghost-like noises at two in the morning when the batteries start running out.

So I'm off to brave the wilds of the childrens' rooms to discover disasters no mother should ever have to face, I'm sure. I have a feeling I may find the Krazy Glue that came up missing last week. And the two packs of cherry Kool-Aid that mysteriously disappeared. Wish me luck... I'm going in!

Thanksgiving Meme

Sandy tagged me for Thanksgiving... oh right, like I didn't have enough to do making the orange-pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin bread, orange chocolate coconut carrot cake and the peanut butter fudge!?

Oops, I'm supposed to be thankful... right. Okay, okay. Attitude adjustment coming up!

Since she stipulated that we couldn't include our husband and kids (would I have included them? Hmmm... after Michael's tantrum this morning that I must have "done something" with the envelope he'd left on the microwave which he later found in his car... and the two littles who have torn up my perfectly clean house in just ONE day home from school... gee, I dunno!) I'll have to come up with three OTHER things to be thankful for...

1. The television broke at my in-laws. Just in time for me not to have to deal with football watchers on Thanksgiving. Woot!

2. I'm not putting up the tree the day after tomorrow, like we usually do. Why? Because a friend has offered to let us go to their Christmas tree farm and cut our own. I'll have a real tree in my livingroom, right next to the fireplace, for the first time since I was a little girl. I'm so excited!

3. Monday is the one year anniversary of Deanna's death. She was one of my best friends, and I miss her a lot, but I'm grateful I had her in my life. (Well I had to have one good, serious one ;)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May your day be filled with the sound of television parades, football (if you like that sort of thing) and a tremendous tryptohan-induced coma that includes unbuttoning at least the first button on your pants!

Thursday Thirteen #10: 13 Turkeys

13 Turkeys

1. Turkey (the country)

2. Wild Turkey

3. Jive Turkey
4. Golden Turkey Awards
5. Going Cold Turkey
6. Fried Turkey

7. Turkey Jerky

8. Turkey Vulture

9. Turkey Trot (Dance made popular in the 1900’s)
10. WKRP’s famous Turkey Drop (I thought turkeys could fly!)
11. Bowling Turkey: 3 strikes in a row

12. Turkey Shoot
13. And my favorite... Thanksgiving Turkey!



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Happy Thanksgiving!

Wordless Wednesday: November 21, 2007

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Columbo's Indian Parts

Sometimes we have to gently correct the misguided or overly P.C. myths that public education still insists on teaching... and of course, our children's interpretations of them.

Dmitri climbed into bed with me this morning, all excited about their school's Thanksgiving Feast today and said, "My teacher says Columbo took a boat here so we'd all know the world is round."

"Well, sort of. His name was Christopher Columbus. And in 1492, the year he sailed to America, was the year the globe was first invented. We pretty much already knew the world was round."

(The first globe actually noted in history was the 1492 world globe made by the German map-maker Martin Behaim.)

"He discovered pilgrims."

"No, the pilgrims came over a different ship."

"Well, he discovered Indians."

"Yes, that's true." Sort of. I decided that we'd discuss ethnocentricity and the rape of the Native American people due to the forward domination of the Europeans later.

"There's another word for Indians and that's Native Americans."

Ahhh the P.C.ness of public schools. "That's right."

"Grandma says I'm part Indian."

"Yes, that's true." On his father's side. One of Michael's ancestors was a Native American princess of sorts.

"Which part?" he asked solemnly. "I think my toes are Indian. And this leg. Doesn't this leg look Indian to you?"

Renewable Energy Coming to Michigan!

I was so excited to read that there may be a mandate requiring 10% of Michigan's electric power to come from renewable energy by 2015, and 30% by 2030. Yay us! There are twenty-three other states who have already set renewable energy standards (yay them!)

Michael and I have talked about buying land and building a solar home, something off the grid. Ultimately, I believe we will, at some point. But it's always so frustrating to have the willingness, but not the means, to accomplish something that I know will be so beneficial for us, our children, and our children's children.

It's heartening to know our state is catching up and jumping on the green bandwagon. There's some opposition, I guess, about wind power. Windmills and turbines might "blight" the Michigan landscape. Feh!



I think they're rather beautiful. Certainly no worse than fences or telephone poles. And what they signify--renewable energy--is definitely worth whatever aesthetic minuses there might be!