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Thursday, September 20, 2007

There's One Born Every Minute...

Is anyone else out there as much of a sucker as I am?

P.T. Barnum was talking about me... he just knew I was gonna be born.

I think almost anyone could convince me of almost anything. I can be incredibly naive. When I was thirteen, I had a guy convince me he was really an alien. I was one of those kids who believed that pennies could be flattened on railroad tracks by oncoming trains and Bloody Mary would really show up in the mirror if you said her name 100 times in the dark.

As an adult, I have propigated way too many Internet hoaxes, somehow sure that Bill Gates was giving away his fortune and that the picture of God's hands in the clouds was really a natural phenomenon. And can we really prove that crop circles, Bigfoot, and the Bermuda Triangle DON'T exist?

I've stopped bothering friends and family with those emails since I discovered snopes.com, which was kindly developed for people like me--and more importantly, for all those friends and family tired of getting email from people like me!

So while I've learned my lesson on the Internet and realize that the President of Nigeria doesn't really want me to help him in some way with his bank account, I am, however, still susceptible to salesmen. Less than I used to be, but still... me and a salesman alone in a room can be a dangerous thing. Especially if I happen to have any money.

For example... I once bought a vaccum from a vaccum cleaner salesman. Not just any vaccum cleaner. A KIRBY vaccum cleaner. It's like the Cadillac of vaccum cleaners. Which means, yeah... it's expensive. Very. Back then (we're talking ten years ago, now) it was in the neighborhood of $1400.

Now, in my defense, the nice Kirby salesman offered to clean my carpets with the machine. Which he did, even though we had a new puppy who wasn't house trained yet. He also showed me, to my horror, how much dirt resided in places I hadn't even thought of--like my mattress! Okay, okay, so he had me at "Hello..."

My ex-husband came home to find me with a brand new vaccum cleaner, a spotless carpet (besides the one spot the puppy christened right after the Kirby salesman had finished cleaning) and a finance agreement in both our names. And no, that isn't why we got divorced...

I am glad to know, though, that it isn't just me. My sister-in-law also bought a Kirby... and my sister almost bought one, except her husband came home just in time!

I've been thoroughly warned that I am not allowed under any circumstances to allow a salesman into the house when my husband isn't home. If a salesman calls, I have to hand the phone to my husband, and if I'm home alone, I have to hang up without listening to his spiel and refuse to answer if he calls back.

I know it's for my own protection.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I still have the Kirby my mother owned for about 25 years before she gave it to me. It is pretty heavy as modern vaccuums go, but that thing has suction power you wouldn't believe. It's probably almost 40 years old now and still works great. So don't feel too bad about your investment!