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Sunday, October 7, 2007

Blue Barb Vs. Eerie Eddie

I've been creeped out by dolls since I was a kid. Not all dolls, but some dolls. You know the ones. The CREEPY ones. My mom says one of the first things I ever had nightmares about was a movie where a doll is burned in a fire and melts. I woke up screaming about that creepy doll for weeks.

I thought I found the creepiest doll ever on a blog recently, but now I'm not so sure. A friend of mine turned me onto this great blog called Looking for George. She's a mother of four and adopting a child from Vietnam to add to the chaos, and is also, as her blog title implies, looking for an old friend named George.

She also blogs occasionally about one of her daughter's beloved, yet decidedly creepy dolls, called Blue Barb. We all know some dolls are just strange. They don't have to look like Chucky to be a little "off." Now, if you've clicked the link and gone to see Blue Barb in all her disturbing glory (go ahead, click. I'll wait) you've been subject to Barb's particular brand of ghoulish charm.

Today, I was cleaning Zoe's room, and nearly had a heart attack when I looked into her closet, where we keep three baskets filled with stuffed animals and dolls. In the corner, I found Barb's long-lost cousin, or perhaps her bizarre and bloated future-boyfriend? Zoe calls him Eddie (although sometimes transforms him with a barrette operation into Edwina) and I've named him Eerie Eddie, because... well, he is.

If you think Blue Barb is scary, you haven't experienced the horror that is Eerie Eddie. For one thing, Eddie is a big boy. A BIG boy. He also reminds me of a cross between the Heat Miser (remember that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Christmas special?):

...and the clown from "It."

The latter is mostly because Eddie came wearing a clown outfit. (He had a clown hat at one time, too, but it's long been lost.) As if a creepy doll couldn't get creepier--they had to add a creepy clown costume to the deal?!

And Grandma looked at this thing in the catalog and thought: Awwwwww! I just have to get this for my granddaughter!


Me, I look at it and think: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


I think maybe Blue Barb has really met her match this time...

Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's Eddie!

What do you think? Should we introduce them?

I told Michael about the freaky doll in the closet (and of course, took Eddie out to take this picture but put him in the back of the closet when I was done with him.)

When I came into our bedroom later, I found this:

I turned to Michael and said: "Ha. Ha. Very funny, dear."

He looked at me, puzzled, and asked: "What?"

I pointed and said: "Eddie and the Chainsaw? Very funny."

"I didn't put him there." Michael blinked at me. "I thought you put him there."

Creepy damned dolls.


E. said...

Oh my word! I think even Blue Barb might be scared of Eddie. Either that, or they'd have some pretty freaky offspring.

crazy working mom said...

*LOL* My little brother is scared to death of clowns because we made him watch the movie IT when he was a kid. We were evil older sisters!!! Bwahhhaaaaaaaaaa!!!