Art Imitating Vegetables

Don't you hate it when vegetables sneak up on you when you're not looking?

No, not Terry Schiavo.

(Ooooo I'm so going to hell. Line forms on the right to get out of the way of the lightning bolt...)

I'm talking about broccolli, carrots, zucchini, all pureed into nothing and put in your chocolate!

"You got brownies in my eggplant!"

"Well you got eggplant in my brownies!"

Who in the world would think of doing this to poor little ol' chocolate?

Apparently, two women--both who think lying to their children is perfectly okay--got this very same idea, at the very same time.

Coincidence?

One of them is Jessica Seinfeld. Yeah, that's Jerry Seinfeld's wife. She published the book Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets To Get Your Kids Eating Good Food. And then appears on Ho-Prah to hawk it. It's now selling like hotcakes. (With shredded carrots hidden inside, of course)

All was well in the Kingdom of Seinfeld.

But then... the New York Post ran an article, wondering if Ms. Seinfeld might be a little, teeny, eensy, weensy bit guilty of plagiarism. Why? Because a few months before Ms. Seinfeld's books hit the shelves, another publisher released this one: The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies For Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals. Which has some very sneaky damned vegetables in it as well. And apparently, chef Missy Chase Lapine marketed her book to Seinfeld's publisher, but was turned down cold. Twice.

Now, maybe I'm a cynic. But first of all, does anyone believe that Jessica Seinfeld cooks? For her children or anyone else?

Secondly, I don't care who stole what from whom, both of these books should be banned and burned.

Children should have to sit in front of dinner plates with twelve peas, or three stalks of broccoli, from dinner time until bed time, and then have them served cold again for breakfast, just like I did when I was a kid. What kind of sissy generation are we raising, anyway? :P

And lastly, I think this whole incident just proves that Jerry's idea for episode #38, "The Letter" where he finds out his new girlfriend, Nina, is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a letter on television was just art imitating life imitating art imitating vegetables.