Daylight Lazy Time

It's noon.

And I'm still in my pajamas.

Can you say lazy? Uh... yeah.

Actually, that's not entirely true. I was so lazy last night I didn't even put on pajamas, so it's really just a big t-shirt with moth holes in it. Sexy, right? Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Yeahhhhh... right.

What have I been doing all morning?

Well. I slept until ten.

Which, with Daylight Savings Time, was really, like, eleven. Then I laid in bed for an hour thinking about getting up. I had some weird, disturbing dreams last night. Like, the kind that make you wonder what in the hell is going on in your subconscious, and do you really want to know? I usually don't remember my dreams, but with the time change, my whole body is out of whack. So I remembered. Wish I hadn't.

Then, I ate some Halloween candy. Breakfast of champions, baby.

But instead of showering, I turned on the TV and watched a chick flick on cable. You know, one of those movies that no guy in his right mind would ever watch unless he was still dating the girl he went to it with and was trying to get into her pants?

But me, I'm thirty-seven and watching Because I Said So, undressed and unshowered at noon on a Monday.

God, I'm lame. I need a life. Or a job.

Or something.