*~*All Organic - All The Time*~*

Friday, November 30, 2007

Shameful Secret

I have a shameful secret.

When my friend, Deanna, admitted to me that she was watching American Idol, she swore me to complete and total secrecy. Then, that same year when our favorite, Bo Bice, didn't win first place, we both decided to get tickets to go to the American Idol concert. We had the best time, screaming like thirteen year old girls. It was a total blast.

The thing is, I was never ashamed of watching American Idol. Am I supposed to be? *shrug* It's pop culture, sure, but it's just a bit of harmless fluff. What's wrong with a little brain candy once in a while?

But now, I'm watching something that I really hate to admit. I'm not even sure why I watch it, what the appeal really is. Michael is totally appalled at my interest in the show and I have to TiVo it and watch it when he's not home. I even hide the title of the recordings, so he won't know I tape them.

I never understood Deanna's shame about watching American Idol. What was the big deal? But now I get it. I have my own shameful secret show now that I can't seem to break the habit of. Just thinking about telling people I watch it makes me break out in a cold sweat.

And of course, if I said it out loud, you'd probably laugh and say, "That show? That's it? Come on!" Shame is like that, isn't it? We feel it so much bigger than others do. Usually quite unnecessarily so. Our own demons always feel bigger than anyone else's.

So it's three in the morning and I can't get back to sleep. So what do I do? Turn the TV on and find the latest episode of my shameful secret show to watch. I feel like a kid sneaking downstairs to watch Cinemax in the middle of the night, the remote close by, ready to switch channels in case Michael wakes up.

So silly.

I guess we all have our shameful secrets.

(What? You really thought I was going to tell you!? Bwahahahahaha!)


Pat said...

Did you know that Bo Bice has a new album out of all songs he wrote or co-wrotez? All southern rock! It'sz the Bo we all fell in love with on AI.
It's called "See The Light," and it's availavble as a Wal Mart exclusive, or as a download in I Tune, Amazon, etc.
Check out his web site: www.bobice.com

I love your blog, by the way! I never left a comment before, but because I'm a big Bo Bice fan I had to leave one to let you know about his album.


Lisa said...

I was into AI for one season (now that I think of it, it was the Bo Bice season too!) and got kicked off of the AI forum on TWOP for defending Scott (what was his name?). Ah, good times.

And yes, I WAS expecting you to say it out loud. Come on! Be proud. I play Partridge Family cds in my car. How much more embarrassing does it get??